Archive for July 3rd, 2010

Author Tim Kimmel has written a book that helps parents navigate the dangers of two extremes in parenting—legalism and permissiveness. He clearly describes a style of parenting that preserves the need for boundaries, obedience, respect, and discipline but which also appropriately considers “the three driving needs” of children—a need for security, a need for significance, and a need for strength.

Source: A review by Sally Michael, minister for parenting and discipleship at Bethlehem Baptist Church. 

Quotes from the Chapter "The Freedom to Make Mistakes":

“Legalistic parents maintain a relationship with God through obedience to a standard. The goal of this when it comes to their children is to keep sin from getting into their home. They do their best to create an environment that controls as many of the avenues as possible that sin could use to work its way into the inner sanctum…. It’s as though the power to sin or not to sin was somehow connected to their personal will power and resolve…. These families are preoccupied with keeping sin out by putting a fence between them and the world.

The difference with grace-based families is that they don’t bother spending much time putting fences up because they know full well that sin is already present and accounted for inside their family. To these types of parents, sin is not an action or an object that penetrates their defenses; it is a preexisting condition that permeates their being. The graceless home requires kids to be good and gets angry and punishes them when they are bad. The grace-based home assumes kids will struggle with sin and helps them learn how to tap into God’s power to help them get stronger.

It’s not that grace-based homes don’t take their children’s sin seriously. Nor is it that grace-based homes circumvent consequences. It isn’t even that grace-based homes do nothing to protect their children from attacks and temptations that threaten them from the outside. They do all these things, but not for the same reasons. Grace-based homes aren’t trusting in the moral safety of their home or the spiritual environment they’ve created to empower their children to resist sin…. They assume that sin is an ongoing dilemma that their children must constantly contend with.

[Children in a grace-based family] are accepted as sinners who desire to become more like Christ rather than be seen as nice Christian kids trying to maintain a good moral code. Grace is committed to bringing children up from their sin; legalism puts them on a high standard and works overtime to keep them from falling down.

Grace understands that the only real solution for our children’s sin is the work of Christ on their behalf…. Legalism uses outside forces to help children maintain their moral walk. Their strength is based on the environment they live in. Grace, on the other hand, sees the strength of children by what is inside them—more specifically, Who is inside them.”

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(2Sa 1:11-12) As David weeps for Israel experiencing God’s judgment so too Jesus wept for Israel’s coming judgment.

(2Sa 2:3-4) David’s being anointed in Hebron as king of Judah foreshadows the coming Lion of Judah.

(2Sa 4:11) Christ, like David, executes judgment as a king who acts in righteousness.

(2Sa 5:2-3) Christ, like David, is a Shepherd Prince over God’s people by means of a covenant.

(2Sa 5:7,9) As David conquers Jerusalem, dwells there and builds up the city, so Christ establishes, dwells and builds up the New Jerusalem.

(2Sa 5:12) Christ, like David, is established by God as king and exalted in the sight of the nations.

(2Sa 5:17-25) Through obedience to God’s word, the Christ, like David, is victorious over his enemies.

(2Sa 6:1-10) Christ has a greater reverence and obedience in response to the holiness of God than does David who shadows him.

(2Sa 6:18-19) David gives thanks, blesses the people & distributes bread to the multitude. Likewise the Christ in feeding multitude.

(2Sa 6:20-22) David abases himself clothed as a slave for God’s glory. Christ removes clothing & dressed as a slave serves God’s glory.

(2Sa 7:9-11) David’s great name & the rest in God’s place that comes through his efforts shadow the Christ’s greater name and greater rest.

(2Sa 7:13) The son of David who builds a temple, is adopted as God’s son and rules forever is ultimately Christ who builds Church and rules.

(2Sa 7:21,29) Salvation comes from God’s faithfulness to his promise, the designs of his hearts and his purpose to bless.

(2Sa 8:6,14) David’s victories over the nations foreshadow Christ’s ultimate victory over the nations c.f. Revelation 19.

(2Sa 8:11-12) Wealth of nations is stored for glorifying of temple. c.f. Rev 21:24,26 – the wealth of nations glorifies the New Jerusalem.

(2Sa 8:15) Like David, the Christ reigns over all Israel and administers justice and righteousness toward all his people.

(2Sa 9:1,3) David foreshadows Christ is the way he acts in faithful covenant-love toward undeserving Mephibosheth as he had promised.

(2Sa 10:12) In victory or defeat may the LORD do what is pleasing to him. This kind of providence saves!

(2Sa 10:19) Another foreshadowing of the subjugation of the nations to God’s anointed and his people.

(2Sa 11) David and Bathsheba demonstrates why a greater David is needed who will take away sin.

(2Sa 12:13) Salvation is the LORD taking away David’s sin and causing him not to die.

(2Sa 12:24) A birth that displays grace and asks a question. Is Solomon the greater son of David? Similar to: Is Cain the promised seed?

(2Sa 13) Ammon is not the promised Son of David.

(2Sa 14:14,16-17) The anointed king, like God, does not take life but devises means for the banished to return to their inheritance.

(2Sa 15:13) As Israel reject David, God’s anointed, so too they will reject David’s greater son, the Christ.

(2Sa 15:18) Even though Israel reject their anointed, Gentiles are numbered among those who remain faithful to the king.

(2Sa 15:30) Christ, like David, ascended the Mount of Olives weeping – a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering.

(2Sa 16:8-13) Christ, like David, humbly submits to God in the midst of false testimony and suffering.

(2Sa 17:14) In the midst of man’s rebellion against the LORD’s anointed, God is working providentially to fulfil his decrees.

(2Sa 18:19,28,31) The LORD delivers his anointed from the hand of his enemies. So Christ is delivered from the Jews, the Gentiles and death.

(2Sa 19:23,28) The anointed acts in grace even to those who at one time were his enemies.

(2Sa 20) The enemies of the anointed who do not repent face death and destruction.

(2Sa 21:9,14) Through the anointed’s intervention God turns from judgment and responds to his people’s plea.

(2Sa 21:9,14) Unlike David, Christ also bears the curse upon himself on the mount before the LORD i.e. his body is hung on a tree.

(2Sa 22:2-4) Metaphors of trusting salvation in God. Rock, fortress, deliverer, God, shield, horn of salvation, stronghold, refuge, savior.

(2Sa 22:5-7,17-20) God rescues his anointed/Christ from the snares of death and Sheol as from out of the waters of death.

(2Sa 22:8-16) The quaking of the earth and the storm at God’s saving presence are associated with Christ’s death, resurrection and return.

(2Sa 22:21-25) As David, the anointed/Christ is saved because he is righteous, blameless, free of guilt and clean.

(2Sa 22:32-43) As David the anointed/Christ shall defeat and destroy his enemies as did David by God’s power.

(2Sa 22:44-46) As David the anointed/Christ is made ruler over the kings of the earth as was David c.f. Rev 1:5.

(2Sa 22:50-51) As David the anointed/Christ leads God’s people in praise, thanksgiving and worship.

(2Sa 23) As David the anointed/Christ has in his company mighty men of God through whom God works doing great things. e.g. the apostles.

(2Sa 24:14) Let us fall into the hand of the LORD, for his mercy is great; but let me not fall into the hand of man.

(2Sa 24:18,19,24) As David the anointed/Christ propitiates God’s wrath so that God responds to the pleas of his people.

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